How the promise of a bright future can cause a dull life today

Many of us live with the belief that working hard today means reaping benefits tomorrow. I, myself, subscribe to that same philosophy. A committed work ethic is a virtue and it’s the people who put in 110% that make it to the top – after all, it’s the American way, isn’t it? And once you get to the top, man, that’s it. You’re set. You’re golden, life is good.

Yes, it is the American way and I think it’s a good way to be. What is not good, however, is when that ‘work hard today and enjoy tomorrow’ mentality morphs into something entirely different and takes on new significance in our day-to-day lives. I think that many of us (again, myself included) have expanded the definition of this American way to mean today is reserved for suffering, happiness is for tomorrow.

Really? Yes really. I think more of us have quietly adopted this expanded definition than we may realize. I would argue that we passively work our way through each ‘today’ with most of our minds’ energy spent on the thought of the future. Once I get that pay raise, things will be better… I’ll start going out as soon as I lose these 5 pounds … As soon as I’ve made it in the world, people will see what I’m worth.

I challenge any of you to start listening to your mind’s thoughts for messages like these. Start paying attention to the things you say and think to yourself. How much of it is centred on denying yourself simple daily pleasures? How much of those thoughts say “As soon as X happens, I’ll let myself Y.”? Start listening to the words floating around in your head. With all of these empty messages flying around, when do you have time to focus on the moment at hand?

Corinne Maier, author of “Bonjour Laziness” believes that how you view your future has a great bearing on how you live your current life. She says the difference between the French and Americans is that French people believe today is in fact better than what tomorrow will bring, and fill their days with small indulgences. Americans, conversely, think tomorrow is actually better and … well, you already know.

It’s a simple observation but I think it’s incredibly astute – not because one country’s view is better than another’s, but because it illuminates powerful this difference in belief can be.

Let’s be clear here. I’m not saying you should live it up. I’m not saying you should move to Paris and lounge in cafes all day. I am certainly not saying hard work is overrated and the apocalypse is upon us. What I am saying is that we need to reassess our understanding of a better tomorrow.

The fact is a better tomorrow is not exclusive of a better today.

Tada! That’s the golden nugget hidden in this rant. Don’t be disappointed. It’s actually more profound than you think (and not because I’m saying it. I am only repeating something many others have already said anyway.) The only thing you have in full is the day at hand. It’s here. It holds all of the same beauty, wonderment, and possibility as tomorrow. Maybe its time you started appreciating it a little more.

Find something you’ve reserved for later than you can in fact do right now. Everyone has something they’re denying themselves. A night out with your friends. A single weekend without taking your work home. Calling a long lost friend you might be embarrassed to reach out to. You keep waiting to do it later and it may never happen .. you keep chasing the perpetual ghost of tomorrow, you will find yourself living a string of unhappy and unfulfilling todays. Simply find something you can do now, and do it now.

Too much for you to handle? OK then, baby steps for you. Spend a little time each day being fully aware of the moment. When you wake up in the morning, take all the thoughts about your workday, your gas bill, the laundry, and push them aside. Spend a few minutes just being hyper aware of where you are right then. Really look at the color of the sky, be conscious of how your skin feels, what the air smells like. Really observe yourself and your surroundings. Revel in the fact that your day can go in an infinite number of directions, and its starting right now.

Don’t gag. It’s cheesy but not that cheesy. Think about this – when was the last time you stopped working your way through the day and paused to dwell within it? Isn’t it a bit sad to think so many days have gone by, one after another, hardly distinguishable from each other? A series of just another work day, just another Sunday cleaning the house, just another night watching TV in bed. The day has to offer more than just these meaningless routines.

Let me add one last thing. Living today is not an easy thing, especially if it means tuning out the rampant thoughts that draw us to the future. It’s not easy to really disconnect from the movement of your surroundings, and quieting your mind for a few moments is next to impossible for some people. For most people the vision of tomorrow is paramount. It’s makes all of today’s crap bearable and gives us hope, drives us to keep achieving. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stopped myself from screaming at an incompetent boss or kicking a broken dishwasher by calming myself with the thought “It’s OK. One day I’ll have more money/ a better job/ higher status in life … and never have to deal with this bull again.” You and I, my friend, are dealing with the same kinds of troubles and annoyances.

So to you I say “No kidding. Living now is a lot harder than living later.” We’re ingrained with the conviction that our future is in our own hands and we can shape our own destinies. It’s an immense source of freedom to know you accomplish whatever you set your mind to do and it only makes sense aim for the horizon. I wouldn’t give that up for the world. But looking at the horizon shouldn’t blind you from everything else. The scenery is just as interesting along the way.

By J. Bina

Learn more about J. Bina here. (linked to http://www.linkedin.com/profile/edit?trk=hb_tab_pro_top)